Subject: FRONTIER: In Bed With Joanna (Part 2)
Straight after leaving her post, Houston made for Neil's quarters. On
her way, she thought more about her relationship with him. It was a
tenuous one at best, but seemed to have survived the initial strains
that showed after a few weeks. Technically speaking, she did not
exactly love him. It was difficult for her to conceptualise, being
such a basic, raw emotion. True enough it was possible to imitate the
reactions of a lover, but more and more she was finding unknown depths
to the problems of maintaining the relationship.
Joanna had studied the art of human lovemaking for some years now, and
still found certain aspects to be puzzling. Such as the need for
variance. She had inserted various random elements into the
sub-program to allow for unpredictable patterns, and hence variable
behaviour. Still, something seemed to be lacking. She analysed her
sexual encounters more closely, and found in each case that almost
always the location was the same. It was something she had not
anticipated. However, various sources suggested that varying the
location would be beneficial to those lovers who preferred a bit of a
thrill. Extended information revealed that sex was not
necessarily a bed-ridden activity, a minor misunderstanding on
her part. It also suggested that sex in public places, however
slight the chance of being caught, was considerably more exciting
for those involved. She had no need to be thrilled, but perhaps Neil
might enjoy a change of scenery... Joanna ruled out the possibilty of
taking their activities out of quarters, but resolved to choose a
location other than a bed.
All of this musing accomplished within a few microseconds, she
proceeded on her way without the slightest hesitation.
Outside Neil Festore's quarters
Houston tapped the door chime and waited for an invitation to enter.
None was forthcoming after about a minute of persistent chiming. He
*had* specifically asked her to come to his quarters... but she was
running a little late. "Computer - what is the location of Lt. Neil
Festore?" she asked.
*Lt. Festore is in Two-Backward* replied the computer.
Joanna was not entirely familiar with the term. "Computer - what is
the function of Two-Backward?"
*Two-Backward is an off-duty crew lounge*
Houston was not exactly one to complain - when she'd failed to turn up
after duty, Neil had probably assumed she was busy and occupied
himself elsewhere. Since she had not already visited the lounge, now
might be a good time. After checking to find the exact route, she
turned and headed on down the corridor.
Festore stretched in his seat and stifled a yawn, waiting for an
excuse to leave the table, which he was currently sharing with a very
boring ensign whose mainstay was talking about nothing in particular.
He swore he could see the synthehol turning stale in his glass. After
a few seconds he noticed Joanna's entrance and praised whatever gods
he worshipped as he slid out his seat to greet her.
"Joanna! Where have you been?" he asked cheerily.
"I was delayed on the bridge." Joanna replied, as she took in the
features of the lounge. Not especially spacious, but it had a good
view... a rear view at that. The other officers here seemed to be
Joanna sat at the bar and waited for him to take an adjacent seat
before ordering her drink. "I would like a Samarian Sunset please."
"Certainly. And your friend?" replied the Bolian bartender.
"A synthale." replied Festore.
Cralk left them to talk for a bit before returning with the drinks. He
noticed out of the corner of his eye that two of his guests appeared
to be a bit drunk. More surprisingly, one of them was a Vulcan. He
thought it best to keep away from that table... Cralk handed over the
drinks to Festore and Houston, still keeping an eye on the sozzled
Vulcan. Her companion appeared to be a Trill male who seemed to have
little resistance to alcohol.
Houston sampled the contents of the glass, found it to her liking, and
continued to sip at random intervals whilst talking to Neil. She too
had noticed Ishara's odd behaviour. She nudged Festore and pointed
toward the two tipsy officers.
"Hmmm, well you learn something new every day. Don't worry they'll
probably have learned their lesson by tomorrow morning. And believe me
it'll be one they won't forget."
Joanna watched them for a few moments more then concentrated on her
primary objective. After about ten minutes of varying seduction
patterns, he finally acceded to her requests, and they left the lounge
for Festore's quarters.
Shortly after, Cralk watched as the Vulcan and the Trill left the
lounge in a disorganised fashion. He could see he had picked the right
ship to serve on this time.
Neil was amazed at the rapidity of Joanna's advances once the doors to
his quarters closed. It was as though she actually craved it... but
that was just his imagination. Most likely she had improved the
sub-program she had been telling him about constantly. He
normally found it hard to dismiss thoughts of cybernetics, but
currently Festore was rather distracted...
Afterwards, when all was silent except for his laboured breathing,
they heard noises not unlike an echo of their activities, from just
down the corridor. Remembering the Vulcan and her unfortunate Trill
companion, they realised almost simultaneously what was happening.
Festore was first to comment, "The soundproofing in this ship is
absolutely terrible. If I wasn't so beat, I don't think I'd get to
sleep. So, do you mind telling me what the little outburst was all in
"According to various sources, variety is a key part in maintaining a
stable relationship. Humans become bored easily by repetitive and
similar experiences. I was testing this hypothesis for its validity.
Is it accurate?"
"Spot on. I was actually going to mention it to you, but you seem to
have beaten me to it." he replied, sweat still beading on his tanned
They lay there for a while, pondering their unique situation, and
wondering when that Vulcan's energy would begin to fade. One thing was
for sure, sleeping was not going to be easy tonight unless you had a
big pair of earmufflers.
Sam M. Edwards
[LtCmdr] Joanna Houston, 2O/OPS FRONTIER
"Eat any good books lately?"